What a 60 Minute Yoga Class Taught Me About Language Learning

Did you know that I used to try to be absolutely perfect in English? That even today it bothers me a tiny bit when people tell me they can hear my German accent?

I remember that I used to be the best in my class in English. Then I changed schools and better people came along. I was the best IELTS taker my university had ever seen at IELTS 9.0. Then I went out to the pub and understood no one. One thing I learnt in that progress is that trying to be flawless is like guaranteeing yourself a failure. Turns out perfectionism doesn't work if you want to learn a language. We don't have to be the best to be good.

In the haze of ambitious new year's goals, let's have a look at how to achieve everything you want without pressure and perfectionism.

Perfectionism By Another Name

You are probably already aware that "perfectionism is bad". There are many who warn about its dangers. It makes logical sense to start before you're ready and keep practicing until you achieve fluency, but in reality I've seen many learners who never seem to be ready. A former German student of mine had this habit of pausing in the middle of the sentence because he forgot a word. He'd switch to English very quickly, exclaiming that he's tired and today just isn't the right day. He asked for grammar exercises instead, trying to rule out any language learning flaws before he even started.

The "I have to be perfect" feeling is sneaky. It doesn't hide in a labelled box inside your mind and heart. Perfectionism works hard to keep its hold on you. Funnily enough, the feeling loves it most when you are trying to speak in your target language. This is when perfectionism has a good day. Here are statements to look out for. Ever had a thought like this?

• "I need to be ready before I can speak"

(and what exactly is ready?)

• "I just want to make sure I get this right"

(what if there is no right?)

• "Is this how a native speaker would say it?"

(native speakers aren't perfect)

• "Am I making enough progress?"

(if you are learning, the answer is yes)

• "Am I good enough?!"

(yes)

Perfectionism is Bad Because..

It paralyzes you, because your high ambition will stop you from trying before you are "ready". It's never worse than when the task is to speak. The fear of what others may think of you, the instant vulnerability of being on the spot, and the stress of thinking so fast are good nutrition for perfectionism. This is why you may prefer to keep quiet or spend another few days preparing. And before you know it, a year of study has passed and you've spoken to nobody.

It frustrates you and kills your will to try again. Last week, I was chatting to a girl at a friend's party and mentioned that I'm a Welsh learner. She exclaimed "wyt ti'n dysgu cymraeg?!" and revealed that Welsh is her native language. Oh my! I had to speak! After a few sentences of conversation she complimented me on my skills (which is ridiculous since half the conversation was "how do I say .... in Welsh?"). Then came the fatal moment. I said something, and she replied "that's not how we would say it in Wales", then explained to me how the locals shorten words in slang. And of course I felt embarrassed! Of course I was gutted to have been so uncool and use stilted uncomfortable Welsh.

The frustration of that moment must not stop me from learning more and trying again. I'll have to keep speaking in textbook Welsh for now. I have to stay on my own path, and the same goes for you if you're learning another language. Never let yourself feel frustrated enough to stop, just because you made a mistake once before.

Remember that being bad at your target language is good, because you'll get better. But when you stop, that's the single way you will fail at learning a language.

The Yoga Analogy

In yoga, there is a philosophy that freedom in the practice means freeing yourself from the desire to achieve perfect poses at all times. It's about letting go of your ego and of having to be right all the time. You work with recognizing your own body and its capabilities. You accept good days and bad days, and you thank yourself for doing what you can. Your prize is not a perfect yoga pose, but a better relationship with your body.

In language learning, that wonderful freedom is waiting for you too. I have received feedback about my failings time and time again, and have had to remind myself that language is a living and evolving tool, never used in the perfect way. Now at age 32, I guess my way through Welsh conversations and feel excited when mistakes are corrected. I work on my mindset much more than my "conversation prep", and trust that everything others correct will be the best and most useful vocabulary I could possibly acquire.

Something magical happens when we put aside those high standards and just surrender. Surrender to mistakes as and when they happen. Surrender to looking like a non-expert. Surrender to trusting the process and letting yourself learn.

With allowing your mind to simply engage and progress at its own speed, you get to discover how capable you really are. The question of being "good enough?" becomes irrelevant as you discover that you are truly the best that you can be. And verb endings, imperfect accents, all those things that trip you up in speaking your target language become things that you learn as you go along.

Mistakes are visitors you bump into on your journey. They are added training bonuses that show you where to focus. They're what keeps you in the game when you risk complacency. I wish we would reframe the way we think about mistakes in language learning and accept that they are boosters, power-ups, encouragers - whatever you want to call them, mistakes are that perfection you're looking for.

3 Practical Tips for Being Perfectly Non-Perfectionist

1) Start Before You're Ready, But Start Easy

So you've studied Polish for 3 weeks and not talked yet? Come on now. Just get yourself to the Polish shop, to a community class, or to italki, or on HelloTalk and quit having excuses.

Language learning is not about being the best or the most impressive person out there. Your interest in another language is enough validation, so go with the journey and take it super-easy at the start. It is NOT embarrassing to aim for saying one sentence correctly before you say another. Remember that yoga pose: You want to ease into it, not muscle into it.

2) Prep 5 Stock Phrases

Stock sentences are useful phrases that you can always say to buy yourself a little time, to enter or exit a conversation. They're useful things like "What does _ mean" and "How do I say _", along with asking the other person to slow down and be patient. Stock phrases also contain polite formulas like please and thank you, and maybe "Do you want a drink?". When I say prep, what I mean is you should have these stock phrases down so well that you could recite them at 3 in the morning if I shake you out of your sleep.

These stock sentences are your safety blanket, the lines you know you've got right no matter what. The reason I recommend you learn no more than 5 is that studying stock phrases isn't the point of learning a language.

You need enough to help you manage, but not so much that it stops your creativity. Remember - this is all about embracing restrictions so that you

3) Keep A Log

Instead of remembering the times that you made a mistake and "looked like an idiot", make sure you make a note of every correction that you get. Focus on what you're learning and how the other person is helping you improve. Even if you post a pronunciation video on YouTube and get "Your Russian Sucks!", so what! Ask the commenter what exactly you did wrong and upload another one. Remember that Yoga pose, where you are building your strength and easing into it.

Love Yoga? Love Languages?

If you enjoyed this blog article, check out my regular newsletter and please leave me a comment letting me know what your own perspective on mistakes and perfection in language learning is.

Losing Motivation is Not Failing: 4 Smart Tips for Positive Language Learning

I recently found myself so tired of languages that my mind refused to even learn how to say "thank you" in another language. Has that ever happened to you?

Are you normal?

Have you failed as a polyglot?

In today's article, let's dive into this phenomenon called "language learning burnout". I've gone through several types of "burnout" in my life, and never ended up as a desolate burnt-out shell. Since "burnout" is a rubbish word, I'll be calling it "fatigue" in this article.

How Alarming is Language Learning Fatigue?

It can hit you any time. You go blank. You're tired. You check out and disengage, not caring how to say anything in your target language.

For me this happened in week 3 of the honeymoon. We were at breakfast in our B&B and learnt that the other guests were Spanish. I tried to speak Spanish to them and nothing happened. My brain couldn't think of a single word. Spanish is a language in which I am usually quite comfortable. I'm not good or "fluent" but usually I have a good enough time keeping up a basic conversation. On this occasion, things were different. My mind went blank, I quickly apologised and chose to speak English.

A few hours later my husband asked a shop assistant how to say "Thank You" in Flemish and I could feel myself tensing up. I actually didn't even want to know. My language energy was spent and I could not have spoken a word in a new language if I tried.

Does Anyone Talk About This?

Language learning fatigue is much-discussed on the internet, but rarely examined in depth. For example, look at this article on the Huffington Post in which the author advises "Just take a break and try again." Yes, thanks, and the sky is blue.

For more in-depth and comprehensive perspectives, I'd recommend Actual Fluency Episode 47 as well as most of what J at the Compassionate Language Learner shares.

In some cases, the advice can lack compassion to a point that is intimidating. My eyes widened when I read Steve Kaufmann's description on his own video about burnout. It says:

Do you experience burnout when learning a language? Do you feel you don't want to go on? I don't.

Good on Steve that he doesn't have a problem, but on first impressions I felt that his thoughts on why he is so lucky (or is this implying superior skill?) were lacking a deeper understanding. Was he saying he's better than you if you have a problem that he doesn't know? Saying "if I had more time, I'd definitely do more in Czech" is not a statement that answers questions relating to mental overload or the erosion of motivation.

But towards the end of the video, Steve got down to a deeper point that I did feel comfortable with. He says

If your goal is just to learn the language and nail down these declension tables or whatever, I can see why you'd get burned out.

There's something in there. A purely technical drive to learning languages is just not enough to keep you motivated. No fake framework of goal setting and time stamps is going to get you through that one. This is why it's so flippin' hard to start off in language learning. That whole point between "I'm excited, I'm starting" and "I am reading newspaper articles" has the highest potential for burnout.

In other words:

No one likes being in the middle of things.

How much of your "burnout" feeling hits you when you find yourself in the middle of something? When you cannot see the end and you can't remember the start?

No matter if we're talking marathons or dieting or language learning, the recognition here remains the same. And the "take a break" advice feels feeble when you're lost in the weeds and struggling to remember what was on the horizon in the first place.

So, what advice can I give here? The following thoughts don't come from experience any more than common sense. Hopefully they'll provide a bit of both.

What Can You Do When You Feel %&!* About Language Learning

Here are ways to deal with Language Burnout when it happens, and to re-light that language fire.

1) Prepare Interesting Materials

Avoiding burnout starts with you and your attitude. Consider your motivations carefully, set up a positive image of what you want to achieve. I don't mean that you should put some words on a picture and post it on Facebook. Instead, focus on what interesting

For me as a new Welsh learner, it's the simple things that keep me interested. Covering another episode of Say Something In Welsh is all right, but really I want to know what happens to Siân and Ed in the BBC Welsh learning soap. Soon I may be able to watch Pobl y Cwm and one day there'll be a Kerstin party at the Eisteddfod. Such milestones are not about how many words I know or whether I'm technically proficient yet, but they work well when it comes to my own motivation.

Similarly, I urge you to stay away from wondering "how long does it take to become fluent in another language" or aiming for "a 15 minute conversation". For guidance on whether you are doing goalsetting wrong and what a constructive goal looks like, refer to episode 21 of the podcast.

2) Trust Yourself

No one knows you better than you know yourself. I hope that this also means you know you are awesome and that you chose to learn another language for a reason.

We have a tendency to push on and blame ourselves for lacking productivity, missing the "miracle morning" if we sleep past 6am. But deep down, a need for self-care is important in language learning too. Don't allow guilty thoughts to eat up your energy by telling you that you aren't "performing". Go slower than others and enjoy the journey.

This piece of advice is difficult for me to turn into something truly practical, so instead I'll bring out my coaching personality and tell you this:

If you shut off that internet for today and study nothing but your pillow for the next 48 hours, that is fine. The world will allow you that space. I believe in you, and I know you'll re-emerge with more motivation and strength than before. And all your work will still be here and wonderful when you return to it. You're not missing out.

3) Get What You Came For

If you didn't think that point 2 was hippy enough, here is an even more compassionate concept:

Pay attention to your inner wisdom

If you were excited about studying Chinese three weeks ago, and then the excitement turned into boredom and excuses, and you just don't want to do it, then you don't have to do it. As Barbara Sher puts it in Refuse to Choose, maybe you already got what you came for. For example, I feel that my motivation to learn Russian was mostly grounded in curiosity about Cyrillic writing. Once I discovered how this works, the language itself fizzled out for me. But I still got what I came for: Now I can read Cyrillic. And if I start travelling to Russia again, I'll be studying more Russian.

When you find your attention shifting to other languages, remember that line between discipline and compassion for yourself, and trust that you will return to what excites you in due time.

4) Combat Your Inner Critic

Maybe you'd like to think that you don't get tired, but most of us know ourselves too well for that. You are not a robot or a battery-operated productivity machine. Quite the opposite: You probably have plenty of stuff on your mind before you even pick up that language book.

When critical inner voices are telling you that you're a lazy learner who won't ever reach higher language levels, there are two key actions you must take.

Firstly, check the facts. Focus on what you can do and what you have learnt so far. Is it really nothing? Are you really stupid or failing?

Secondly, check whether you are catastrophising. This means thinking that all is lost, that one day of lost study means you're incapable of anything, or that your break in the Duolingo streak means you'll never be as good as anyone else. Take pride in resting, find a positive angle on it and vow to return when you are ready.

These mindset adjustments feel small, but you'll soon find that they all make a huge difference to your confidence and...believe it or not...your fluency!

Your Number One Job Is Being Happy

I hope that this collection of tips and perspectives will support you in a moment of weakness or tiredness.

Remember that your number one job is not to perform. Your number one job is to keep yourself as happy as healthy as possible, and language learning should fuel this (not the other way round).

Click here to share this message with others on Twitter.

Have you dealt with self doubt and language learning burnout before? Share your stories in the comments below, or for added privacy feel free to contact me to share your thoughts.

How to enjoy Language Learning more by being lousy at it

If you are a long-term follower of the Fluent blog, you might already be familiar with my love of Pinterest. I spend the odd free minute over on that website, admiring pictures, getting inspiration and using it to learn about education and teaching..

The Growth Mindset

Today I came across a really great graphic illustrating the growth mindset (previously discussed in episode 9 of the podcast), which is such a helpful way for language learners and strivers of any kind to treat perfectionism and become ongoing learners. Adopting a growth mindset has been proven to contribute to both learning success and happiness in scientific studies. In fact, it is absolutely invaluable for adult learners because it does away with this nonsensical myth of talent.

Here's the amazing core message:

Learn to enjoy being lousy.

That is all. Mind blown? Let's move on to this graphic showing how you can do it.

Thank you, Ryan Thomas

Online Perfection

When you admire people's well-prepared Youtube videos and considered posts that outline their study routines, it is all too easy to feel inferior. A fixed mindset keeps you trapped in those situations, it forces you to feel that the situation is unfair and you are lagging way behind. But the growth mindset would look at another person's success, then look at what you are accomplishing and say "I don't need approval, I want to gain more knowledge!". In fact, I cannot say this any better than Edudemic already has, so please head over and read the following article on the Growth Mindset. Inspiring, fantastic stuff.

Use Growth for Everything

If you are struggling with adopting this mindset for your language learning, think of other learning situations you have been in during your life. Driving, cooking, sewing, musical instruments. We all started out pretty terrible at those, and the more you do it, the better you get. Yes, that's all of us. German and Arabic and Tagalog are no different.

If you want to read more about using Pinterest in your language learning routine, you can read my step-by-step guide on this blog.