In our latest podcast episode, my co-host Lindsay Dow and I found ourselves discussing one of the big topics in language learning: the ultimate struggles, good moments and bad moments.

These are true for every language learner we've ever spoken to, so if you're suffering from one of these issues, you are most definitely not alone. And since I've recently spent a bit of time hitting the books to learn more about the science of language learning in linguistics and psychology, I've added 4 research-backed motivation tips to help you love language learning again.

The Ultimate Good In Language Learning

1) Understanding Something You Didn't Expect to Understand

No matter if it's a few words of an overheard conversation or the name of a shop, there is magic in that moment when you realize you know this language. When you understand something new, you participate in unlocking the world around yourself - truly a moment worth waiting and working for!

And as Lindsay points out, this is one reward that never goes away after you cash in. Language learning is an eternal project, and that good feeling is going to be yours time and time again as you improve your skills.

In scientific research, the good feelings and sense of joy you gain from using your intelligence and learning something new are called intrinsic motivation. This describes actions you undertake out of interest, curiosity or because you find something personally rewarding (and not because you're getting paid or instructed). Those moments of feeling smarter and experiencing your personal growth are the internal payment you give yourself for all the hard work of language study.

Becoming aware of them and making a note when you do feel awesome is a great way to stay motivated later in the game, so try keeping a learning diary or sharing your achievements with others whenever you understand something new. You can even start today by commenting here on the blog!

2) Showing People That You Can Speak Their Language

I had this moment in an airport café once. My waitress was just dropping off the bill and as I that noticed the little Polish flag on her name tag, I said "oh, you speak Polish!" She stopped for a few minutes and we started chatting about Poland, Germany and languages, with me demonstrating the very few Polish words I know. But as soon as I even said czesz (hello), her eyes lit up. She said she was so excited and pleased that someone was learning her native language, and how rare it was for this to happen in London. I was excited too, so happy that I'd managed to make her morning.

Even when you can only say 5 words in someone's language, your interest and respect for their home can really make their day. Have you ever found yourself in that feeling? For me it's one of the most wonderful things that can happen to a language learner, and it always keeps me going and trying.

The reward of connecting with new people is a motivation for many language learners. Social psychologist Robert Gardner called this the integrative motive, recognising how language learning motivation can be affected by how much you want to talk to people, how much you want to connect and how curious you are about your target language's culture.

Does that sound familiar to you? If you're feeling like you need a boost for studying, try connecting with someone new. It could be a native speaker on italki or a friend at an event - what matters is that you remember how great it is to connect with people who speak your target language.

The Ultimate Struggle in Language Learning

We are all such busy people, and it's hard to put a foreign language up there along with other priorities like family care, paid work, or (for me) editing a podcast. Life's crazy, you guys, and that's why I have put time management at the top of all our language learning struggle charts.

Procrastination is a big issue here too. You sit around and find yourself doing the dishes or pairing your socks before you'll even look at that vocab list again.

How can we beat procrastination? My top tip is to ease off the pressure, make your language learning journey more interesting (yes! more videos - sometimes!) and set yourself smaller, more challenging goals. So forget "getting fluent" for now, and ask yourself how you can get a little bit better this week.

The Ultimate Bad in Language Learning

What could be the worst thing about language learning? There are so many great reasons for learning languages, yet something stands in your way. What is it?

For me, one of the biggest boulders in the way of your fluency dreams is feeling like you are not good enough. Research has actually backed this up, showing that low self-efficacy (that's when you think you won't be able to do it) and low self-worth (that's when you think you are too stupid or forgetful or ) really do knock the motivation out of

What solution could there be? Try embracing the Growth Mindset, in other words find the benefits of being lousy right now. It means that you've got infinite scope for improvement, and there is a lot of evidence to show that nothing in language learning is beyond you right now.

It also helps to stop for a minute and look back on what you've already achieved. Learning a foreign language to "fluency" (whatever that means to you) is a long-term game, a journey in which you are always travelling forward. So give yourself some credit. What can you do now that you couldn't do a year ago?

How to Beat Your Language Learning Demons

Fear of forgetting words, fear of speaking, fear of judgement. Is that you? If you connect to those negative feelings, scroll back up to the good parts of language learning. Sometimes it's worth investing a little time in your own mindset before you go back to the books and apps.

Two things that make the negatives worthwhile and reward you so much:

1. That moment where you understand something and you didn't expect it

2. That other moment where someone's face lights up because you're learning their language

Which good moments can you add? I'd love to hear your stories in the comments below. And of course, stay encouraged and keep going. You can totally do this.

For more information about coaching and access to lots of free toolkits and worksheets, hop onto the Fluent Language Newsletter today - can't wait to say hello to you on there!

Challenge is a big word in today's world, and challenges have started being all around us. There are the language challenges like the italki Language Challenge and the Add 1 Challenge. Then your local gym might challenge you to swim a few miles or do 500 squats. And of course we were all challenging ourselves to drown in ice buckets last year.

What is that makes a challenge rewarding and great? How do you know you're ready? Here are a few thoughts and insides to show you what makes a good challenge work.

Why do we like challenges?

1. Pride

Accepting a challenge means proving something - not just to yourself but also to the world. No one would put themselves through something difficult if they don't believe that the result will be positive. So when you're in a challenge, you choose to commit to improving yourself and your skills in public. You can stand proud knowing that you have represented no matter how far you get.

2. Community

Group challenges are a wonderful opportunity to overcome your fears and push yourself to try out new things. I remember last year's abseiling adventure and how terrified it made me feel. If there had not been so many other people to encourage me and show me that this is possible, I would have never done it.

Here is how Brian, founder of the Add 1 Challenge, talks about his experience attempting to learn a new language in just 3 months and following a fellow student on the Fluent in 3 Months forum:

Even though he was half way around the world, I get inspired and energized every time just because I know someone was going through the same thing as I am, sharing the same struggles and having our small wins.

So if you are feeling isolated as an online learner, don't despair and seek out a community of people who share your goal.

3. Excitement

As part of my participation in the Small Product Lab (see below) I’m feeling like I’m on an invigorating sprint, and I can already see the end in sight. So here is one reason we love a challenge: Excitement!

It can be very motivating to put a specific goal and a time limit on our activities. You can feel buoyed by the community, inspired by everyone else's ideas and optimistic about the finish line.

How do you know you're ready for a challenge?

Of course, there is no such thing as a free lunch out there and so even the most valuable challenge comes with its own risks. Before you dive in, it's important to be sure that you're ready right now.

Will you have time and energy?

Since many language learners and aspiring polyglots are such high achievers, there's a risk in any good challenge. It can feel disappointing when you overcommit and set your expectations too high. So before challenging yourself to achieve something unrealistic, check how you are feeling.

Katey Nixon is taking the Add 1 Challenge right now and warns that "all or nothing" thinking can sabotage your great efforts.

So far three days this week I have skipped practice and I think it is all or nothing thinking, because I think - well I don’t have a full hour to practice - so I don’t even start and let other things get in the way.

Katey

Awareness is always the first step to solving a problem, so remember to accept a challenge only if it feels like you will have fun and not added stress.

You must feel that the goal works for you

The biggest risk in accepting any challenge is doing it for the wrong reason. If you are participating in a difficult endeavour just to prove your own skills or strengths, you're in murky territory. First of all, ask yourself who you want to prove yourself to. If your activity is based on the desire to impress someone else, forget it.

A good personal success does not come from other people's approval. Your challenge should be about what's meaningful to you, and what gets you fired up.

And what if you fail?

The other elephant in the room is fear of failure, and this is something that haunts every language learner out there. For example, the Add 1 Challenge proposes that you "hold a 15 minute conversation with a native speaker after 90 days". Personally, I think this is a super vague goal. You could speak to them in your language and have it be a success. You could speak to them for 10 minutes and have it be a failure.

I don't know exactly who said the following thing, maybe it was Yoda or maybe it was George Clooney. But in language learning and in business, I believe these words are powerful:

There is no such thing as failure. There is just trying.

Be flexible and forgive yourself for missing a day every now and then. A well-organised challenge will also take this into account. For example, Lindsay Dow's structure for the Instagram Language Challenge allows some extra days for catching up. If you're ready to try something, you're ready for a challenge.

Before you start, ask yourself these three questions

Are you ready to commit the time and resources required?
Is the goal your goal?
Are you excited?

If you get three "yes" answers, I think it's time to sign up! If one of the answers is a no, leave it for another day. Those good ideas and challenges won't go anywhere.

Here is my own challenge story

And here is a secret revealed: I finally signed up to one.

The thing I’m challenging right now is not my language learning skill but my creativity. Small Product Lab challenges creative people to build a small and helpful product in just 10 days. And because I've not got much time, here is my promotion for you:

I am putting together an Email Set to save any online or private teacher time when they book new and existing students. It will include helpful email templates and also a guide to email signatures. And right now it's not launched yet, so you can get it at half price for a few days only. Click here for more information and to watch my product grow.